Best day of our lives? ABSOLUTELY! Best decision we’ve ever made? HELL NO.. I know, I know…Why so blunt? Because it’s the truth. We became boyfriend and girlfriend in 2013, engaged in 2014 and married May 2016.Do I think that was to soon for a marriage? NOPE. BUT, we were both still really young. Soon after the wedding and the honeymoon, reality began to sink in. Barely taking care of ourselves…How could we possibly know how to successfully love one another and fulfill each others needs? He was 26 and I was 24. We were sooo caught up in being together forever, we lacked the “What does it take to make a marriage work” conversation. This is the one conversation no one had the balls to have with us, instead they volunteered their “I want an invite”, or the infamous “Relationship goals” opinions. We are TWO people that haven’t seen a successful marriage, so we should have been doomed from the start. Both Brandon and I came up with this specific post. We would like to admit a couple of things:
- Communication*Our ability to communicate-SUCKS. Yes Present- tense. No openness what so ever. One of us is always “Shutting Down” things we don’t want to hear. Definitely something to work on, yet I must admit, it is an issue.
- Attention* One of our biggest flaws is that we have both yearned the attention of others that are NOT our immediate spouse. I would love to blame this on social media, but let’s be serious… That can be silenced…I know it’s possible to not indulge in such negative attention, but the question is- “Are we ready to?”. One year into this marriage, you would think that question would have been answered. But as much as I hate to say it, “It hasn’t.”
- Finances* We have both made some simpleminded money mistakes..some before each other and some while we’ve been together. While going through pre-marital counseling I’d listen to how most divorces are over money. I thought how could that be possible, without infidelity anything can be fixed. God, I was so wrong. There have been many times when we may have fell short on bills that we questioned if we could really do this. The answer is YES! “WE” as a unit can, but in that moment, there just doesn’t seem to be a way out.
- Infidelity* The “Infidelity plague” has stricken our ONE YEAR MARRIAGE. *REMEMBER* Infidelity does not only involve {SEX}.. It comes in so many forms, that one may not even realize they’re doing it. |Texting/deleting Texts| Sharing vulnerable information|Spending time with the opposite sex outside of your marriage|Hiding things from your spouse| Lying in general| It doesn’t matter who has done it.. [You couldn’t have possibly thought I was gonna say who it was😂😂😂] The problem is that it has happened and we needed to have the ” What are WE going to do about it?” The saying “Time heals all wounds” is both true and false. Although the incident has slipped our minds currently, it does still sit there waiting for the day it can strike again.
When the two people decide get married, both people say their vows and both listen. Often times one of the people, if not both, fall short on the listening and the seriousness of the vows they’ve spoke.
ənrəˈlen(t)iNG tro͞oTH 
I DO NOT think that I was mentally and emotionally prepared to read your blog! I think this was one of the most honest and realistic things i’ve ever seen! So proud of you for opening up and being authentic with your readers. Everything may not be perfect right now. You both are still learning and growing as a unit and not individuals, but have faith in knowing that with time everything will be alright. Nobody is exempt from the hardships of life. The key is how you overcome it and how you bounce back. So proud of you. Keep writing!
-Chatney ❤
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Thank you love.. we all go through things. Men and women. I just want everybody to feel like they’re not alone. We’re ALL still growing and the shit is hard!
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This is amazing! So deep and REAL! You are opening up and sharing some personal things. Things that I know someone else is going through and can relate too. Such an inspiration…So proud of you boo!
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❤️ thank you
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So much respect for your transparency. As a single woman I often look at my friends who are married and assume that it’s all peaches and cream because social media always tell some magical love story that you’re not living. It can be sad and lonely but this is a reminder that marriage is not alll green on the other side but takes work, dedication, and a great partner. Until I’m ready for those things I have to patiently wait for my time to come. I continue to wish you and Brandon nothing but happiness but also I pray over the things you all are still working on like communication. Just remember you are one year but a beautiful lifetime to go!
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Thanks love… marriage is all the things people won’t tell you about. I just wish somebody would’ve sat us down together and just let us know what we were getting ourselves into. It’s WAY different that bring boyfriend and girlfriend and I don’t think either of us understood that before then
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This is beautiful. Not too many people are willing to share the flaws, they always want to make things seem picture perfect. Thanks for giving us the real ❤️ Love conquers all
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…. I c o n i c.
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Thank you! ❤️
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I love how open this blog is. You never know that one thing you’re struggling with the next person could be going through the same. Please stay consistent I definitely look forward to reading more.
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As I prepare to reach my first year of marriage I often reflect on everything we have been through! The first year is truly the hardest; however, loves conquers all! We all struggle esp being young and married. The important thing is working through it. The good times out way the bad. I know I wouldn’t want to go through anything with anyone besides my husband. Y’all got this!
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I absolutely love the truth you tell. It does make me self reflect in all the areas you spoke of. I think everyone is so busy trying to hide their truths for appearances not knowing that many are going through the same thing. With God all things are possible even marriage! So proud of you!
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I think ultimately people fear judgement, as if everything is always supposed to be perfect. We’re all human, and are taught to always show the good. So when things aren’t good, we don’t know what to do and we tend to hide from what’s real.
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I love how open you are . Your blogs help me grow and understand things I can do better as a wife . It helps me see some of the things my spouse tell me I need to improve on but I just thing oh your nagging but coming from a different perspective it’s understandable. I love your blogs .
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