My entire life, I wanted a platform so that I could be me! I’ve always felt that sites such as Facebook aren’t the best places to do so. There always seems to be a rebuttal when someone posts an opinion, not to mention many of the posts there are negative to begin with. Why not YouTube you wonder? Just let me be real. I refuse to get cute EVERYDAY just to sit in front of a camera. Works for some, but I honestly don’t have that much dedication. My life has come with many obstacles that have made me the woman I am today. Just because I don’t air my issues, doesn’t mean I don’t have any. I bleed like you. You can see my old posts from 2017 as well as my newer ones of 2019. My life timeline has changed drastically over the last decade::
- High school
- College
- Working
- Texas
- Marriage
Hmmm.. Where do I start?
ənrəˈlen(t)iNG tro͞oTH 
I can so relate to this. My struggle that I am having is moving forward. Every time that we try to move on from the infidelity in the past, some way some how it resurfaces back up. I know it takes time and a time stamp cannot be put on a healing process, but I wish it could.
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Moving on is the hardest part.. because it’s ultimately “can I move on?” As women we can tolerate more things and forgive more things than a man can. If it’s him that did the infidelity then he needs to understand that you will heal eventually. All you can do right now is try your hardest not to to bring it up. Realize I didn’t say “don’t think about it” because who the hell can stop themselves from thinking about it. If it’s you that did something, you’ll have to know that it’s gonna be much harder for him to get over it and that he may think irrationally for a while. That is definitely a blow to their masculinity/egos.No Marriage is perfect but it takes 2 people to make it work. Without those two people at least trying…… it will
Never work.
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Am enjoying your conversation, Angelique & Ebonee.
Ebonee, I am in awe of how insightful you are & how willing you are to work on things. My 20s were hell on so many levels – so much to learn! & I don’t just mean about marriage.
One of the few real truths I’ve found is that the second I generalize about ‘all men,’ ‘all women,’ ‘all people’ — I’m overwhelmingly generally wrong. It doesn’t matter whether my needs are same as a zillion other people’s — what matters is that I recognize & honor mine. The other truth is that if I’m happy, I’m in a way better position to be happy among others, so happiness is good for everyone.
As for trust – that’s something that, if I’m in my right mind, must be earned. When someone breaks my trust or I break theirs, it’s only my sane self speaking to me when it tells me that broken trust takes a lot to rebuild. In addition, sometimes my acceptance of others & myself requires a clear eyed knowledge of our limitations.
Perhaps the realest sort of love (& here I speak of more than just romance partners) is the one that says, “‘I now know them — that person is not always nice (a loose term indeed) — but I want to love them, limitations & all — & with that in mind, I accept responsiblity for navigating boundaries, the ‘how close I can allow them to get to me without hurting me.'”
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Oh believe me! It’s been a rollercoaster ride. I really do believe I married my best friend, I just don’t think we really understood marriage and how HUGE of a commitment it really is.
I think I found sanity in knowing that I’m not the only person struggling with things. Not only my marriage but with myself as well. And once I realized that no one “truly” has it all figured out and worked out, I’ve learned to become at peace with myself.
I’ve realized that if either of us breaks that trust, it’s just going to take a while to build it back up. We’re human, no one can expect us to be prefect but we both have to want it. And I will admit, I have always been afraid to be in relationships because of the “fear” of being hurt. But at some point I had to have a relationship, so that I could hurt and learn to get passed it. My entire life, my biggest fear has been of the unknown.
Thank you so much for your insightful and thought provoking post. ❤️
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so true – as long as we know we’re not alone, that helps immensely – amazing how more alike each other everyone is than not, but we all often feel so alone … all the more reason your blog is so wonderful & needed 🙂
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I love all the positive feed back you received.
I could definitely relate to your post, and love your openness. Honesty as well. I love how you’re able to articulate so well in a way that so many people can feel apart of not all points.
Great piece girl❤️
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